So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
