also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
