You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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