butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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