happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
How does one acquire holy water?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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