update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm passing your future prison.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
