NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
