I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
how drunk are you?
Several
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
