My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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