I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person