God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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