was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.