"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO