i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday