she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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