She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
