Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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