Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
