Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize