dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
