so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
