:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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