Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
you inspire me to be a worse person
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
