I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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