Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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