That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
