my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize