you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
