He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
