I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
