Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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