i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
