vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
