yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
