why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
