it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
