Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
