I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
