i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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