Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
