And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
