Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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