Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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