He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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