hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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