Dual....:-)
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
