In the future we'll all be gay
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
