He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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