you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
