Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
