12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Randomize