i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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