I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
