I want to stick my p in your. b.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
