I'm jealous of your bromance
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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