We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize