So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
