we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
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I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
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I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize