This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
