i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
