On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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