Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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