We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
