Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
