he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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