I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
