I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
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she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
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And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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