what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
