She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
