my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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