I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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