hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize