found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
