He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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